Of computer hang ups

My laptop was freezing a lot this past week. I could not move on with my work so I was a bit impatient as I waited for it to respond. It was perhaps the tremendous size of my excel file that had slow down the computer.

While waiting, I realized that I was actually the human counterpart of my struggling laptop. We were both overwhelmed at that moment.

Earlier of the week, I was feeling exhausted thinking about the bills that I had to pay. As I slowly take and experience new responsibilities in the family, and as an adult, I couldn’t avoid being overwhelmed of how come the tax was eating a big portion of my income, of how the electric bill was so expensive, and why it seems that our expenses never rest. I’d like to give to my family and cover everything for them but I could not give yet at such extent. Maybe it’s because of my pride that I was struggling. My natural self was scared of being unable to offer what it wants to give. It was hard sometimes to be not in control.

On these recent days that I felt sinking just thinking about these commitments, I treated myself with morning runs. Running has become my new escape where I try to preach to myself and saturate my mind with God’s truth and promises for me and my family. There I was reminded of a lesson I had before. It is not my responsibility to shoulder everything. God does not intend me to pressure myself and carry the burden that he promised to carry for me.

He will provide for me and for my family. If I who is full of evil knows how to give good gifts to people I love, how much more is He who is perfect in all ways and loves me and my family eternally. Wouldn’t he will give much more to each of us?

Thanks to my overwhelmed laptop. Let us rest well this weekend and may the peace of the Lord still our anxious hearts 🙂

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