I am very good at losing things.
Though I try to put more effort nowadays to be more organized, sometimes my clumsiness and forgetfulness still show. I don’t like it when my fam calls me burara and ulyanin especially on events when it’s not my intention to lose or destroy a thing. Sadly, many times I could not recall what I just did a few minutes ago. Multitasking and too much daydreaming have possibly robbed me off good retention.
Today, I am writing about another incident of loss involving my company ID badge and it’s not even a year since I have it yet now I lost it.
The frustrating part is I cannot recall when and where I lost it. I am uncertain whether I lost it earlier this night or since the morning. I’m not sure too if I lost it in the van, or while walking along the slippery pavements, or when I rode the elevator. I can’t recall because I was busy then thinking about not getting late. I am regretful now that I did not put so much care for it. I was convinced that as long as there’s the lanyard, the ID badge was there sleeping soundly in the smallest pocket of my bag. I was shocked when I saw my company lanyard, but without my ID badge.
When I try to look beyond the evidence of this happening, I seem to find a secret code intended by the mastermind of this plot. It’s like a message encrypted in Morse code. The mastermind of this event, I am afraid, is someone who knows my love for Sherlock Holmes and metaphors. And it’s now funny when I think about how he set up things. I can’t help but to love him more because of his humor.
And here’s the message I found: The ID badge is more important than what’s holding it.
I repeated this until clarity slowly unfold like how a reverse fold in an origami will do its own.
Jesus is the ID badge and I am the lanyard. Jesus is the ultimate and only giver to get access to this passing life and the life that is to come. I often fall into this trap like it’s I who’s holding him when the truth is, I was only made for him.
ID badge is my faith in Christ and lanyard are the things that hold me steady in my faith like church, fellowship with other Christians, retreats, my passion projects. I often confused the latter things as what will give me access to enter God’s presence. However, when I come to my senses, only my faith in Christ will open the entrance to the fullness of joy I am aiming for.
It’s possible to stand for so long in front of a door, forcing entry with false keys, but only for nothing because God is not with me. And nothing is the last thing I’d like to have. I don’t like to end up only wearing a lanyard of being a follower of Jesus, yet not really have Jesus in my life.
The conclusion of this matter: Victory is only through the Lord. I can only enter the lands I am praying about when I wear Jesus’ name.
(Thanks for the side hassle of this life, God. You are awesome for bringing more color in my life! Thanks for teaching me to keep my cool even if I lost another thing. Only in Your light that I’m able to see your heart in this inconvenience.)